Exactly Where You Need To Be

I’m going to get a little zen, woo woo and existential on you. Ready?

Wherever you are in life is exactly where you need to be right now.

Even if you’re not where you want to be right now.

Even if you’re not fulfilled where you are right now.

Even if you’re in a really bad place right now.

I know it doesn’t always FEEL like you’re exactly where you need to be, but trust me, you are.

We think that when things are going well, when we’re achieving our goals, when we land our dream job, only THEN we are exactly where we need to be. But let me ask you this: how did you get there?

Didn’t you get to those great moments in life by spending a fair amount of time in places you didn’t want to be? Didn’t you have stretches of life when you weren’t fulfilled? Didn’t you fight and claw your way through some pretty bad times physically, mentally, and spiritually?

Didn’t those tough times teach you valuable lessons about desire, motivation, resilience, perseverance, patience, tolerance, and more?

As a little green Jedi once said, search your feelings, you know it to be true.

If you climb a mountain, some parts of the trail are easy and beautiful, some are treacherous and scary, and some cause you to stumble and skin your knees. And you spend a lot more time on the trail than you do at the peak.

Yes, you ARE exactly where you need to be right now.

I’m not telling you to seek out the silver lining (although it is usually there if you look hard enough). I’m also not telling you to look for valuable lessons about desire, motivation, resilience, perseverance, patience, tolerance, etc. during the tough times (although they are definitely there if you are open to them). And I’m absolutely not telling you to “enjoy the journey” (because sometimes you just won’t).

What I AM telling you is that I believe there is a reason why you are where you are right now. I also believe you don’t have to know what that reason is. In fact, you might drive yourself nuts if you try to figure it out in the moment (or ever, really). One of the hardest things to let go of is the desire to know the why behind everythingHear me on this, the desire to understand the why is almost always a want, not a need. It doesn’t change the fact that you are where you are.

Sometimes you just need to be where you are, be as ok as you can be with it, and know that it is just temporary. Actually, know that these times are ALWAYS temporary (even if they last longer than we’d like).

Oh, and one more thing: just because you are exactly where you need to be right now doesn’t mean you should stay there — especially if it’s a place you don’t want to be. Keep moving forward — one tiny step at a time if that’s all you can do. You can climb an entire mountain one tiny step at a time. That’s how I published a book — one step, one page at a time. And it only took a year and a half of not being where I wanted to be, but being exactly where I needed to be, until I got there

And that concludes today’s moment of zen, woo woo, and existentialism. 😉

Would love to hear from you on this. Leave me a reply/comment below!

10 replies
  1. Jeff Pelletier
    Jeff Pelletier says:

    I know we share a mutual love of Brian Andreas and Story People – your post today is right in line with a story of his that I am using in my upcoming speech when I take over as President of our professional association in a few weeks. I don’t think it’s a full-blown story, but I saw it on Twitter and have grabbed the picture to show as I read it out loud for my speech:
    https://twitter.com/soulfactAU/status/816097297264054272/photo/1

    Reply
    • Mark
      Mark says:

      Holy crap! I can’t believe how similar that message is! I guess crazy Brian Andreas and I have similar thoughts, ha ha! Either that or I’ve just read way too many of his posts and pictures over the past 20 years…

      Reply
  2. jess
    jess says:

    my friend just sent me this and I needed this, exactly right now. i need to continue to be reminded that where i am right, which is in a tough, sad space, is that its temporary, and OK. that’s a discipline, i’m always working at b/c when you’re in the dark space, it’s hard to see anything but darkness.

    thank you for writing this. i bookmarked it so i can come back and remind myself.

    jess

    Reply
    • Mark
      Mark says:

      Thanks, Jess! As weird as it sounds to say, you’re not alone in the dark…although it sure does feel that way.

      Reply
  3. Joanne
    Joanne says:

    Thank u for the reminder. I heard this somewhere this morning and it reminded me that I am where I need to be right now. I may not like it but in order to move past it.. I need to go thru it…one step at a time

    Reply
    • Mark
      Mark says:

      Joanne,

      Thanks for commenting! I am finding out more and more that the only way to the other side is straight through. And sometimes that means just sitting still right where I am for much longer than I’d like to. Can’t tell you how many days I’ve prayed for strength to just get through the day. One day, one step at a time sometimes is all we can do. It’s all we need to do.

      Reply
  4. Lenore Beebe
    Lenore Beebe says:

    As someone who battles depression you cannot know how timely this zen, woo woo, existential reflection is for me. I have a good life. A blessed life that I share with a kind husband and a tribe of wonderful friends, but depression doesn’t care about any of that. It comes crawling in like a Navy Seal on a top secret mission looking to scramble your state of mind, shatter your inner peace and make your body feel like a hostile B&B that won’t let you check out. Little steps. Advocating for self in the medical word. A few more little steps. Then gradually the new normal comes to light and I move into the next phase of where I am supposed to be. Pace e Bene

    Reply
  5. Robert
    Robert says:

    Fantastic! Just what I needed to hear as I am currently going through a rough time in life. The idea it is temporary and will pass is the greatest hope one can have.

    Reply
    • Mark
      Mark says:

      Robert,

      I’m glad this helped a little and I am truly sorry you’re going through a rough patch. I’ve been through more than one since I wrote this piece. Hang in there. You’ve got this.

      Reply

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