Lone-Wolf Personality

I’ll admit, I have a lone-wolf personality.

I like being by myself. I like tackling problems or building things on my own. I’m sure that’s why I like writing so much. While there is (hopefully) an audience, the act of writing is truly a lone wolf endeavor.

But someone with a lone-wolf personality can accomplish only so much on his own. Not to mention, a lone wolf can easily become a lonely wolf.

I’m emerging from an extended lone wolf period in my life. Aside from my wife and my team at sparkspace, I haven’t connected or collaborated with many people. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; after all, it did afford me the time and space to write a book. However, I know that if I seclude myself for too long I end up feeling stale, isolated, and, definitely lonely.

The point here is that even a lone wolf needs a pack sometimes.

So, lately I’ve been spending a fair amount of time and energy doing three things:

  1. I’ve been reconnecting with members of my pack. These are the people who stay in my pack, even when my lone-wolf personality is in full swing. But, as I’m deciding who to reach back out to, I sometimes realize that someone doesn’t belong in my pack — or I don’t belong in theirs — anymore. We’re all still good people, just not as good of a fit as we once were. So my pack evolves over time.
  2. I’ve been selectively adding new people to my pack. When I run into someone I seem to resonate with, I explore that resonance. If it seems real and genuine, then I add that person to my pack and spend time and energy investing in that relationship.
  3. I’ve joined and created some new packs. I joined the Small Giants Community, a network of business owners who hold many of the same values that I do. I also started a mastermind group with four of my Superpower Summit alumni. That is off to such a great start that I am considering starting a new group after each of my quarterly summits.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a lone wolf. Like I said, I actually enjoy it and it often enables me to do some pretty solid work. I know many other lone wolfs who feel the same way.

I also know it’s not good for me to stay isolated for too long. Re-igniting relationships and building new connections almost always complement and strengthen my Ordinary Superpowers, enable me to embark on bigger missions, and overcome obstacles that I can’t conquer on my own. Plus, they add interest, energy, and fun to my life that I could never generate all by myself.

Anyone else with a lone-wolf personality out there? Do you ever stay outside the pack a little too long? Is it time to reconnect to your pack or maybe even form a new one? Would love to hear your thoughts!

2 replies
  1. Jade Metcalf
    Jade Metcalf says:

    Your words resonate Mark. Have similar patterns in my life. And now that I work from home the Lone Wolf thing can get exasperated. It usually goes unnoticed until I really start feeling the lack of connection. Probably need to make a habit of scheduling social time, even when I don’t have a burning need for it.

    Have had some of the Columbus Pack come back into my life recently. Many folks have checked in regarding the storms/flooding here in Texas (we’re far away from the storms, safe and dry). It’s been good to reconnect and be reminded of all the solid people that are still in my life. We may not see one another every day. But they are there, as are our friendships.


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